using eft for relationships


Over many years of using EFT for relationships, I have worked with thousands of clients who were angry or upset with their partner, siblings, parents, children and bosses. In fact, relationship problems are one of the most common issues I encounter in my work. EFT is extraordinarily effective for shifting our perspective from negativity to positivity in our relationships with the potential for life changing results.

Role Reversal Technique

This is a simple but highly effective technique that I use after the Basic Tapping Recipe and when the client’s SUDs level has reached 4 or 5.

In using EFT for relationships I ask my clients to pretend that they are stepping into the person’s body that they are upset with and to tap on the issue as if they were that person This is a somewhat like surrogate tapping!  The client now begins to see the issue from the other person’s point of view. This technique has always helped clients shift into a broader, more positive perspective with regard to the issue they came in with.

Using EFT For Relationships: Tapping With A Couple

It’s amazing how many years of counseling or therapy can be avoided by using using EFT for relationships in couples counseling. One partner will voice their feelings and thoughts and the other partner and I parrot what they said. This gives the parroting partner enough time and a new way to take in their partner’s perspective. When one partner has been heard, we switch roles. One of the reasons this technique is very powerful is because both parties feel deeply heard and understood.

Filters & Projection

Most of the time, a client is upset because a person, behavior or experience subconsciously reminds them of an upsetting experience, or a number of experiences, from the past. Often a person is metaphorically wearing these experiences as a filter in front of their eyes so that they’re unable to see the truth of the situation in the present. They are projecting the old experience onto their experience right now. We use EFT to peel away the projection so that they can actually see the person in front of them and what is really true.

What clients tell me over and over again in my practice is that when they have made a change in themselves and let go of their issue with the other, it actually produces a change in the person they were having the issue with. For more on word projections, go here.

EFT for Self Esteem

The Buddha said “You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy”.  Before you could have a good relationship with anyone else, you must first have cultivated a good one with yourself. It’s essential to have a solid foundation of knowing and understanding who you are, and what matters most to you. Tapping on how you feel about yourself and your own issues is really a process of self-inquiry which leads to higher self-esteem and self love.